“Facing Avoidance” at a Glance
We All Avoid Things
Avoidance is something we all experience. Sometimes it shows up in small ways—like putting off a phone call, skipping a workout, or leaving an email unanswered. Other times, it runs deeper: we might turn away from painful emotions, unresolved grief, or uncomfortable truths about ourselves or our relationships.
When avoiding becomes a repeated pattern—especially in the face of depression, anxiety, grief, or loss—it can start to feel heavy. We may call it procrastination, self-doubt, or emotional numbness, but underneath, avoidance often serves a purpose. It’s not simply resistance or laziness. It’s your mind and body’s way of saying, “Something here feels too big to face right now.”
Avoiding, then, isn’t just a frustrating habit—it’s information. It’s a message from within, pointing to areas where healing, growth, and self-understanding are most needed. When we learn to listen to that message, avoidance can become less of an obstacle and more of a guide.
Noticing When We Avoid is the First Step
In therapy, noticing avoidance is often the very first step toward change. Awareness brings the unconscious into the light. When we slow down and observe our patterns—without judgment—we start to see the fears, unmet needs, and protective strategies that drive them.
Maybe avoiding shows up as overworking, perfectionism, or constant busyness. Maybe it looks like numbing out, overanalyzing, or withdrawing emotionally. Each of these behaviors tells a story about what feels unsafe, vulnerable, or overwhelming inside us.
Through mindful awareness and compassionate curiosity, we can begin to see avoidance not as failure, but as protection. This simple shift in perspective is powerful. It opens space for self-compassion, and from there, real transformation becomes possible.
How Avoidance Can Teach Patience and Self-Compassion
Avoiding, paradoxically, can also teach us patience. Healing is rarely linear. It doesn’t follow a predictable timeline, and it can’t be forced. When we pay attention to our avoidance instead of fighting it, we often uncover a deeper rhythm—a pace that honors where we are in our process.
In therapy, I often remind clients that self-understanding takes time. The parts of ourselves that avoid are often the same parts that once helped us survive. They deserve our patience and respect. As we grow more compassionate toward these protective patterns, we begin to build emotional safety—the foundation for meaningful healing.
By working gently with avoidance, we can begin to:
- Identify emotional blocks that contribute to anxiety, depression, or overwhelm
- Notice patterns of hesitation, self-criticism, or perfectionism
- Create room to process grief, loss, or difficult emotions at our own pace
- Build resilience and healthier coping strategies over time
Every small moment of awareness counts. When you choose curiosity over criticism, you begin to loosen avoidance’s grip.
Turning Avoiding into Guiding
Ultimately, avoidance isn’t a sign that you’re broken or failing—it’s a sign that something inside you needs attention, tenderness, or support. It’s a guidepost, pointing toward the parts of your life or emotional world that are asking for care.
When we sit with avoidance instead of pushing it away, we open the door to growth. We learn to tolerate discomfort, trust ourselves more deeply, and move through life’s challenges with greater insight, balance, and compassion.
Avoidance isn’t the end of the story—it’s the beginning of understanding.
If you’re ready to explore what’s keeping you stuck and begin the work of gentle, lasting change, I offer integrative therapy and life coaching for individuals in Longmont and Boulder County, Colorado, as well as secure online therapy for clients worldwide. Together, we can uncover what your patterns are trying to tell you and help you move toward greater freedom, clarity, and self-trust.
Stay tuned for Part 3: Embracing Flow and Emotional Resilience.
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Schedule a free consultation to explore how holistic counseling and coaching can support your journey toward well-being.
